On our fifteenth wedding anniversary my wife decided she wanted to go out to a swanky place for dinner. She's got this dress that she still looks great in that she only wears on special occasions. I was online checking out the NHL tables, and as she left to finish off some stuff at the office she asked me to wash her dress for her. "Make sure you read the label" she said.

An hour later she tried to call me, but I was on the Internet, so she sent me an email which said, "I've just remembered the 'pink shirt incident' so maybe you better not help with the dress." I didn't notice the email coming in.

At about five o'clock I suddenly realized that I had forgotten to wash it She would be home by five thirty. I dutifully read the washing instructions: "Hand wash only. Do not tumble dry." it said.

I took it through to the bathroom and filled up the basin, squirted some liquid handwash on it, and swished it around a bit. I rinsed it off with the spray nozzle in the kitchen. It was looking pretty good actually. By now it was quarter past. Tumble drying was out, so I put it in the microwave on high for ten minutes.

It was kind of steaming when I pulled it out, and so hot that I had to hold it with BBQ tongs. I put it over the back of the sofa, and hoped for the best. When she saw it there, both of us wished she had known that her message didn't get through. It would be fair to say that she got few other messages through to me during the course of the evening.