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"I make arses for people, and sometimes I make one of myself."

I'm a sculptor. I spend most of my time in my studio making big concrete hands, feet and bums. It's not a calling that requires me to use computers much. I've always managed to cunningly avoid them. But recently my friends started putting pressure on me to get connected so that they could email me. So I am now "connected" - I have the Internet at home.

I'd like to say I've mastered it all, but that would be fibbing. I like things I can touch - I'm a hands-on person - email just seems so intangible. It's there, and then it's not there, and then it's somewhere else! I seem to lose things on the computer all the time, how am I supposed to trust them with my messages?

The moment I hit "send" the paranoia begins: Did it make it off my machine? Is the thing plugged into the phone right? Is their one right? What about the stuff in between?

I started phoning my friends straight after I had sent the message, just to make sure it arrived! It's nuts. It's making me nuts! After this went on for a while, one of them suggested MSGTAG. When I started it up on my computer it even looked therapeutic! I'm grateful for the extra peace of mind, but it's my friends who are really thrilled!
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